This may sound ridiculous to you.
“Of course, I can go a day without complaining, I’m a happy person”.
Here me out, I’m not sure I could without really thinking about it!
In Britain, we’re pretty good at complaining about things. If it was a competitive sport, we’d probably win it without trying very hard. The weather, the temperature, it’s too hot, too cold, too wet, too dark, too bright, too humid, too… you decide. You get the picture.
But what happens when you notice the negative?
You notice more negatives.
Then, your brain starts to think that there’s only bad things going on and it may start to bring down other people around you, or you may be associated as the complainer or moaner amongst your group of friends. Over time, they may question whether they want to spend time with you.
Can you think of a friend that’s like that and you may start to avoid or limit time with?
Okay, now think about someone that’s generally pretty positive. Have you got someone?
How do they make you feel?
If you think about your mental and physical environment. Is it set up to ensure you get the results you want? Or is there more you could do to adapt it?
For example, do you spend time around colleagues that are constantly complaining about the weather, their body, their partner, or the person on the bus this morning? Over time that’s likely to start grating on your nerves and reducing your motivation.
As a result of that negative mentality, you may start looking toward food and alcohol to self soothe. Instead of going to the gym like you had planned.
You’ve used all the will power you had to not punch that colleague in the face all day and you have none left to invest in yourself.
What could you do to either stop them from complaining, or to tune them out so you don’t have to be influenced by them?
Kill them with kindness. That old one. Be so positive and optimistic, they may in fact realise they are the opposite.
Find a quiet working space that you don’t need to hear the negativity.
Put your headphones in and listen to music that makes you feel positive.
This could also relate to the information you take in from social media. Do the people you follow allow you to feel constructive and empowered to make changes? Or do they make you question your efforts, goals, and results? If it causes your mind to be a negative place, try unfollowing or muting those people and noticing the impact.
That could be a case of: you want to be stronger, but everyone you follow talks about cutting calories, getting smaller, or shredding weight fast and it’s unhelpful to the results you want to see.
What will happen as you start to say less of the negative thoughts, or say more of the positives?
You’ll start to see more of the things you’re looking for.
Let’s say you’re looking for a new winter coat. You may have a specific brand or colour in mind. Typically, before you decided you wanted to get a new coat, you wouldn’t have noticed what anybody was wearing. But now that you’re looking for one, you can help but see others where the type you like, the colour, the shape, the finish, and the specific brand.
When we look for a specific thing, we see more of the specific thing.
By looking for more positives, we see more positives.
By stopping looking for the negatives, or commenting on them, we become less aware of them.
This week, let’s try to take note of the positives in life, making them more prominent, and reducing the negatives that pop up.
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