I don’t know about anyone else, but my best writing seems to come in periods of extreme change, stress and contemplation. At times where I have so many thoughts and it is the only way to get them out of my head – to put them on paper/laptop screen and the internet. This may not be the best logic, to write at a time of vulnerability and post it for the world to see and critique. But also, it might be the best time, because we all go through similar stresses and maybe by exposing mine, you can face yours, and I can be more accountable to the change I want to make by saying it out loud.
I have let my blog slip in the last few years. I used to write every day, although I may not post everything. It was a great way to solidify my thoughts and my memories during a busy time living in America. When I moved to London life just became a little more ‘normal’ – whatever that is – and writing about doing the washing wasn’t top of the list in the same way that going to a basketball game or drag brunch was. I guess, I lost my voice. I lost my drive and my ‘why’.
Recently I’ve made some changes that I hope will be for the better. I know will be for the better. I am going to do the work that means something to me, that I am incredibly passionate about, that I feel in my gut is the right thing for me. But the action of quitting my job to not go into anything solid and start over, is massively terrifying. I won’t lie. But also exciting, exhilarating, empowering, energising – any more e’s?!
I hope that I will stay on it with my writing and sharing what I am going through, the changes I am making and how I’m feeling.
Change is tough and as humans, we’re not really designed for it. But maybe if I write a little about it, I can get used to it myself and normalise it for other people, so you too can feel empowered to do what makes you happiest and take a leap of faith.
Even if each day I celebrate a little win. A teeny tiny little win. I want to learn to shout about what I am doing, accomplishing, overcoming, instead of apologising for doing what is good and right for me!
2020 is the time for me to toot my own horn.
Soph: TOOT TOOT!
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