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Why am I not getting this?

Amy Gorman

Have you heard your inner voice berating you like this when it comes to a new habit?


“Why am I not getting this?”

“I should be able to do this”

“I could do this before”


You’re struggling to fit in time to make breakfast for the next morning, add in a couple of minutes of chill each day, or eat more veggies?


Have you ever thought that you’re trying to do more than you are currently able to? Maybe there’s an easier first step? Or there’s something else more important to change that will allow you to start the desired habit.


For example:

You’re not getting to bed early enough, so you’re not sleeping enough. As a result, you don’t want to eat veggies because you really want to cane a bag of sugar, so you can find energy from deep inside. You may be better off looking at your bedtime routine first before anything else.


Or you need to give it more time (not day two and expect a life long habit to exist - this stuff takes work). Think about it, it’s difficult to learn other skills. When did you last do something new? Or put yourself outside your comfort zone?


  • Studying at school/college/university and building the structure needed to show up at school or do your studying?

  • What about a new job? Understanding how a new company works can be intense.

  • What about a new sport or workout routine? You don’t just show up at the gym and know how to deadlift, run or do a pull-up. At least not well.


Why would it be any different with a new habit for nutrition or living a healthier lifestyle? You are still learning to do something new, something you’re not used to doing.


You may even have done it in the past and it was effective. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy to pick up again. Presumably your circumstances have changed, or there was a reason you stopped it in the first place.


The best thing you could focus on, alongside one new habit, is practicing self-compassion. Give yourself credit when you do a good job (or a better one than before) and be realistic about what you need to do when you don’t quite get it.


There is no harm in picking up the simplest form of a habit, rather than the more complicated version. Remember, we start to walk before we can run, and sometimes we skip or crawl depending on the day.


Make it as easy as you need, with as many steps as required, to make sure it sticks. You could bounce back and forth between crawling, walking and skipping until you achieve your goal of running and eating a quality breakfast every day.


This is typically my face any time there's something new comes up, or my brain goes into over drive (recently, getting back on training and filming lots of content) >>




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