Currently I'm working towards a ring muscle up. And every week when I don't get it, I feel deflated and despondent.
I go back to, "why do I want it?"
And honestly, I have no idea. Other than, "well, because I do", or "because it annoys me that I still can't do things after all this time".
Sometimes it feels similar to wanting to be a certain weight just because it's a good idea. Or because you used to be that weight - at a time when you had very unhealthy habits or relationship with food.
I say it’s similar because there’s not a real pull to it, it’s a like a finger in the air, “yeah that seems like a good shout”.
It's important to remember why you want to do something when it feels a bit hopeless. Not just what it means you don't have to do or be anymore.
Think about it in a similar way to habits - you want to think about the clear action to complete (habit), not the thing you're avoiding (for example, sugar), and then think about wanting every day but restricting.
With a goal, you want to think about what it enables instead of what it means you're not anymore. Even if the purpose is to not be the same as you currently are. If you're always thinking about what you're not, then you're pushing yourself to feel like you’ve failed. Even when you’re having huge success.

So for me, every week I don't achieve it, I think about how I'm still not capable. Instead of quickly realising I'm closer or stronger or more technically able than I was before.
Instead of framing my goal as “I want to be able to do this because I want something to show for my time”. I can think of it as “I want to be able to do this because a shoulder injury limited me from being able to push and now it’s strong and I’m mentally stronger and it would be great to see how far I’ve come and do something I always believed was impossible”.
The act each week of getting on those rings is incredible because I was always terrified and wouldn’t entertain the idea, nevermind push myself to my limit each week in pursuit of something challenging.
It’s really bloody cool to be able to push your body and see what it can do on a daily and weekly basis. Even if you don’t notice the difference in the specific action, it’s amazing to see that as a result of doing the work you feel better, move better, have more strength, or have more confidence.
The same with clients that I work with on weight loss. Yes, it doesn’t happen overnight. But can you see your body getting stronger, can you notice the change in your hunger cues, are you noticing more of your self worth and ability to say yes or no to things that you truly want?
That stuff is important and the things that make a difference when you reach the goal and want to keep the change. That’s the difference between losing weight quickly and unhealthily and then immediately putting it back on.
So how are you changing how you think about your goal?
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